The Diary of a Demented Man.

Part 5.

Belfast, Monday evening, 27th March 2006
No running tonight! Have stayed late at work to receive some very important guests – none other than the outgoing URSC committee. Some are more out going than others while others are just de-mob happy, relieved no doubt that their spell as punch bags for the disparaging membership is almost over. Just the AGM on Wednesday to survive and retirement on a South Pacific Isle beckons.

Bangor, Tuesday, 26th March, 2006, early evening
Went running for a change – managed the usual two laps of the route of death without the usual histrionics. Nothing really to say about that – didn’t step in any poop, no one tooted or waved, even the neighbours appear to have grown disinterested in the mild thunder of stampeding Kimbles.

Cooke Rugby Club, Wednesday 27th March, 2006, 19:30
The great date with destiny has arrived. Forty eight members of the URSC are present, including the great Jack Kyle, the committee, the morbidly curious, the unsuspecting and of course the lynch squad. The Ulster Rugby Management Squad have also turned up to tell us all about how they have turned Ulster into a league topping, crowd pleasing, team of all stars. They certainly make their point and are very well received.

With the interesting part over we settled down for an invigorating debate on all that is wrong with the supporters club; well actually the committee – the club is OK. At the end of the night it was Members 5, Committee 2, although it must be said the committee did put through their own net on a number of occasions and if it had not been that they had the ref in their pocket it would have been much worse!

Retired shaken but intact at 23:15. Realised that running the streets is much easier than running the Supporters Club. Called round to see some old unfit friends for therapy before heading back over Craigantlet in the wee small hours.

Bangor, Saturday, 1st April, 2006
Up early and managed to avoid the Fools Day traps set by various family members. Do they seriously think I am that stupid?
Saw the best rugby match ever! Can’t remember anything more.
Did not go running, I think?

Bangor, Monday 3rd April, 2006, 17:30
Ran 4.5 miles in 45 minutes and lived to tell the tale.

Bangor, Wednesday 5th April, 2006, 17:30
Ran 2.25 miles in 21.5 minutes and lived to tell the tale.
Portrush, East Strand, Saturday 8th April, 2006, 08:00
It’s blowing a force six nor’easter, its trying to snow and I’m trying to run. Gave up after two miles or so and retired to eat an Ulster Fry.

Bangor Bay, Monday, 10th April, 2006, 18:30
I am honoured this evening to be accompanied by younger daughter, aka the Style Police. At the outset I have to remind her that this is a jog, not a run. It’s not long before she has adopted a similar approach to her young brother, running on ahead, pausing to sign autographs while I struggle to catch up, and occasionally touching up her make up from a dinky wee bag she carries under her arm. (Well the wee lad does not do that yet, but as he has been likened to a smaller version of Henson, I suppose it is only a matter of time!) Actually ran a new scenic route tonight and drove it later to establish it was exactly three miles. So, two laps of that one and I will have passed the test.

Malone, Thursday, 13th April, 2006, 19:15
Summoned by the highly respected Rugby Correspondent for the Belfast Newsletter, Richard Mulligan, to attend for team briefing and photo shoot. Met Holywood Mike and Sparky, who was later initiated into the Second Barrier Crew. At this rate we’ll soon have all the key personalities enrolled.

Realised I was wrong about Mulligan – he is quite a decent bloke after all – you shouldn’t judge the book by the cover, or in this case the paper by the back page. He even bought me a pint.

But the biggest shock of all was Grumpy. The man is a mere shadow of his former self. When he turns sideways he casts no shadow! I wonder if he has no reflection a mirror……….

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