Rory’s
try, Davy’s boots – still tight at half-time
and then Tommy Bowe on and over for a try made
by the greatly improved Paddy Wallace.
Peter said “I
think we could get the bonus!” Discussion ensued as to who
would score we got them right…(well we had mentioned the whole
team!!)
Cue Steinmetz and McMillan the
bonus point was secure and the celebrations could begin. A fantastic
victory over the FORMER league champions and another fantastic Friday
night at Ravenhill (BBFN – Bring Back Friday Night!)
It was only afterwards, in the bar,
( I’d never been there before!) someone mentioned the lovely
Gavvin. Who? I asked. Was he playing? I’m
glad he was…because he gave us the highlight of the night
– not the tally of the points, the performance of the team
(Isaac and Paddy especially),
not the return of Justin…no…it happened in the 47th
minute when a certain Matt McCullough reminded
a certain “Gavvinn” how to tackle…”Welcome
to Ravenhill luvvy boy” was heard as the crunching tackle
went in.
Lovely Gavvinn didn’t know what end was up…he thought
he was looking at his lovely white boots but instead he was looking
at the whites of Matt’s eyes!! Much to the delight of the
crowd!
I think he must have seen those whites
a few minutes later when he missed his kick for touch!!…funny
the crowd showed their appreciation for this too!! Well it’s
not everyone who has matching boots and teeth!! (except Humesy….and
he doesn’t have any boots!!!).
The Europeans may have been hammering
the Yanks at the K club…we certainly hammered the Ospreys
at Ravenhill and sent them back to Wales with their tails between
their legs (that makes a change……a tail!!!…).
…Talking of which…..I checked that field again today…..it’s
full again!!
Boys on Tour
PS… |
| A
customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello,
I wish to register a complaint.
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never
mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this osprey what I purchased
not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Welsh
Sea Eagle...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll
tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's
wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's
resting.
Mr. Praline:
Look, matey, I know a dead osprey when I see one, and I'm looking
at one right now.
|
|
Owner:
No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Welsh
Sea Eagle, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline:
The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's
resting!
Mr. Praline:
All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at
the cage) 'Ello, Mister osprey! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish
for you if you show...
(Owner hits the cage.)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline:
No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline:
Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline:
(yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO Gavin!!!!! Testing!
Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes osprey out of the cage and thumps
its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it
plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline:
Now that's what I call a dead osprey.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline:
STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him,
just as he was wakin' up! Welsh Sea Eagles stun easily.
Mr. Praline:
Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this.
That osprey is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not
'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement
was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged
squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably
pining for the valleys.
Mr. Praline:
PININ' for the VALLEYS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look,
why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Welsh Sea Eagle prefers
kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline:
Look, I took the Liberty of examining that parrot when I got it
home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting
on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(Pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed
there! If that bird hadn't been nailed down, it would have nuzzled
up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline:
"VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if
you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's
not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This osprey is no more! He has ceased
to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft
of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch
'e'd be neath Swansea, pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes
are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's
shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the
bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-OSPREY!!
(Pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace
it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire,
I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right
out of ospreys.
Mr. Praline:
I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: Woulda dead parrot do?
Mr. Praline:
(looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Owner: Try this one.
Cardiff Blue. Not unlike a Norwegian Blue, but
a better singer a remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? - Lovely plumage! |
