Issue 33
   
29 October 2006
Llanelli 21     Ulster 15

Finished last weeks report with the words, "Roll on Llanelli". Well they did. They took on Ulster's front five and rolled them over in a tense game in Stradey park.

This was a real disappointment. Three days after the game it's still a real disappointment.

Ulster started poorly and the line was breached with King charging down a Steiner kick to race in unopposed. Ulster dug in but they couldn't break out for the first 20 minutes and only the intense tackling of the Ulster back row and the boot of Humphreys kept them in the game. Infact after weathering the initial onslaught Ulster would have scored a huge psychological advantage if they had turned round only 8 - 6 down having repelled the Llanelli scrum on the line. Instead of finding touch the ball was sent back into Ulster's half and Jones was given, and took, the chance to put Llanelli 11 - 6 ahead.

Ulster kicked another penalty straight after the restart and if they had been defending a slender 8 - 9 lead at this point instead of a 11 - 9 deficit I think they would have pulled the game out.

Unfortunately Ulster chasing the game and a few handling errors gave Llanelli the chance to pull away and though Ulster battered at their door a couple of times in the last ten minutes of play it would have been an injustice if they had stolen the win.

It was another warm welcome in the Stradey clubhouse but it was a very disappointing travelling support. This is a game that should have been targeted by the fans as much as by the team as our big chance to progress out of the group.

The FRU Man of the Match goes to Neil Best, but it could have been any of the back row.
Picture courtesy of www.ulsterrugby.com

INTISTA Week 9

The Original "Good Time Charlie" maintains his lead at the top of the league, though how he finds time to study the form given all his extra curricular activities is beyond me.

Ardmhic jumps up to second with a well worked 11 and No One Likes Us comes back into the top six also scoring 11.

Men of the round however are Loose Head Poop and Pwrmoore who each score a very creditable 12. Loose Head leaps to the top of the FRU works league and is now three points clear of nearest rival Stormin Norman. Previous FRU works league leader Hong Kong Gooey has a bit of a disaster scoring only 4 this time out after last weeks astonishing 13. Gooey now drops to the level of other portly competitors THP and Dewi Barnes.

No Tic for Tok.

Our long-time reader will willingly testify that over the years we at the FRU have steadfastly refused to join in with the chorus of clucking small minded cacklers who have gratuitously criticised august organisations such as Ulster Rugby. Indeed the FRU has also extended its largesse of goodwill towards other organisations which in no way could be described as August - more like April Fools - eg The Ulster Rugby Supporters Club (The URSC).

However the amnesty is over - the Rubicon has been well and truly crossed and it's ''No more Mr Nice Guy Attitude'' from the FRU towards the URSC. The reason for this volte-face on the part of the FRU has been the URSC's tardy treatment of one of our occasional hacks, THP. Poor, old and admittedly sometimes misguided Tighty had been saving his hard earned pennies over the past few months in the hope of raising the tenner joining fee, and a couple of weeks ago Tighty triumphantly posted off his URSC Application Form and accompanying cheque.

Ever since then the expectant Tighty has been ''up with the lark'' every morning to meet the postman in the hope of receiving his URSC Membership card and the other promised ''goodies''. What response has he got to date??

DIDDLY SQUAT!

Being a patient, and a bit of an innocent soul, Tighty assumed the delay was due to the URSC Office Bearers selflessly involving themselves in worthy causes on behalf of Ulster Rugby Supporters so he was reluctant to kick up any fuss. However the final straw came for Tighty when he saw this photograph of ''El Presidente TOK'', looking as rough as a badger's posterior, and blatantly trying to ingratiate himself with the Great Willie John McBride at some junket - probably paid for by Tighty's Tenner.

The only consolation for Tighty is what happened to ''Il Duce TOK'' later that evening, the details of which the FRU can now exclusively reveal.

To his credit, Willie John initially indulged the sycophantic TOK for a short while, as TOK droned on about wining the egg and spoon race at Ballyholme Public Elementary School. However the Great Man's patience wore thin and he was soon observed to be feverishly ''eyeing the room'' in the hope that some of his ex Lions colleagues would come over and rescue him from the megalomaniacal ramblings of TOK.

Alas for both Willie John and especially TOK no one was brave or stupid enough to intervene. By now Willie John had become totally exasperated with TOK to the extent that he contemplated taking a course of action which he had never done ''in peace time'' and hadn't needed since the famous 1974 Lions Tour to South Africa. He could put with it no longer and launched a ''99 Call'' at the top of his voice to which all the assembled '74 Lions immediately responded. In the midst of the resultant melee TOK was wedgied by his prized URSC Chain of Office and eventually suspended by the said chain from the flegpole outside.

Two Hounds Go AWOL

Hounds C&C (Colin & Connor) went missing last weekend when the call was made for the home pack of Hounds to turn out at Ravers. Little did we know but the two eijits had went on a secret mission to recce Toulouse on behalf of the Hounds.

As lower ranking members of the pack, this has been looked upon greatly by the council and with that their stature has grown within the pack. It was even good to see them blend in with other Ulster supportes that were there, so not to let on what they where really up.

With mission complete they returned to Belfast with great news "Toulouse is the place to be on a European Cup weekend".

Connor all the best for the Wedding from all the Hounds of Ulster.

 
       
   
       
   




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Recommended by Neil "Sick Note" McMillan.