Well, it was good of one of my nieces to arrange their wedding for Ulster's week off. (Isn't she lovely!)

Apart from that it's a hard week to think of something witty and amusing to say. I was over in England for "The Wedding" so I missed all the matches at the weekend. I was supposed to get a picture from the Dragons - Connacht match as some Ulster fans were at it instead of the rearranged Cardiff game but that hasn't happened. (It's here now - reckon Sparkey would take that Dragon!)

The messageboards are getting a bit repetitive after a long hard season so I think we could all do with a break.

It does however appear that the reputation of Ulster supporters abroad is still suffering as can be seen from the picture on the bottom right taken on my weekend visit to Portsmouth!

Thanks to Hotspur for sending in the article below. Check back next week for the season finale and some Hound pictures!!!

Tuesday 1st May - Just when Ulster supporters thought that the season could not get any worse a shocked and horrified Supporters Club were informed of a serious crime committed at the headquarters of Ulster Rugby. During the previous morning of April 30th, in broad daylight, heartless thieves had penetrated ‘Fortress Ravenhill’ and burgled the contents of the CEO’s lunch box! Police were called and immediately sealed the area. Among the items plundered were a KFC Family Bucket, a loaf of corned beef sandwiches, and a packet of artificial sweeteners. Police have appealed for witnesses and have issued photographs of items identical to the ones stolen, hoping to jog the memories of the public.

Meanwhile at a press conference the CEO appealed for calm and asked for no retaliation, a cup of tea, and a plate of chocolate digestive biscuits. He also vowed that he wouldn’t rest until he’d opened the top button of his trousers and had a nap. The press were informed by police that the cctv camera attached to the lunch box had been disabled by the thieves and that scenes of crime detectives had already photographed a number of empty Mars bars and Twix wrappers. They also said that when apprehended the thieves could not expect any leniency under the Good Friday Agreement.

However, sources close to the source have informed the FRU that they believe it was an inside job. They revealed that there had been steadily rising tensions at HQ between the hired staff and the ‘blazers’, who believed that the hired staff were a bit slow about bringing their smoking jackets and tea and crumpets at 4pm every day. This had led to a number of the hired staff becoming disgruntled. It is widely acknowledged that disgruntled staff are always up for mischief. Gruntled staff are usually okay.

Mark McCall said that he was bitterly disappointed but that he accepted full responsibility for the entire contents of the lunch box as recent results had caused a lot of depression led ‘comfort eating’. He said that the players were also devastated as many had been offered a chip by the CEO in the past. He believed that he had never seen the CEO so angry since someone had left the corn relish spoon on top of the lettuce, at the burger van, after the Glasgow match.

“First they steal our line out ball and now the CEO’s lunch”, he added, “Where will it all end?”

Finally, the Supporters Club have offered an information reward consisting of a Black& Decker fire drill, complete with two muster stations and toy siren, and/or a Sony Milkman holding up to three hundred cheery whistles.

Our source said that whoever said that there was no such thing as a free lunch was talking crap, and even if the thieves were caught and punished they would be back on the streets before you could sing the last verse of ‘Stand up for the Ulstermen‘!