After three promising games Ulster's league campaign took a huge backward step against an efficient but limited Edinburgh side on Friday night.
The Ulster pack were strangely lacking for most of the first half with the abrasive qualities, shown in previous matches, in short supply. This game was lost at the breakdown where time after time Ulster knocked on, spilt the ball or were driven off the ball. All in all a poor show.
So what happened?
For a start Ulster missed Barker in the second row with Harrison being off the pace on his return. Pollock and McCullough were also lacking and it was a bit naive to use this inexperienced combination from the start. There was certainly a huge improvement when Dawson came on, albeit briefly, in the second half.
Seamus and Tommy are still not clicking in midfield, both running into the same space, and Mallon's handling and distribution were not the best. This may in part be due to O'Connor and Soupy being slow to get the ball moving while playing off the back foot.
There were some good points. With Dawson and Marshal on, Ulster started to keep possession and it was moved away from the breakdown quickly causing Edinburgh to persistently try to kill the ball. The exceptionally poor referee, Jones, eventually awarded a penalty to Ulster under the posts which O' Connor slotted over. Ulster piled on the pressure and looked much the better side. However, the ball was spilt again in midfield and a break out by Edinburgh took the score to 21 - 3. Ulster still looked a class apart during this period and after several driving runs, with quick ball, Bart was set free to finish under the posts, 21 - 10. Game on! Unfortunately Dawson got injured and with his departure the supply of quick ball dried up as did Ulster's chances. Barker came on, playing out of position, but the match petered out to a comfortable win by Edinburgh.
We're trying not to abuse the referees this year, but the extraordinary decision of James Jones (WRFU) to award a penalty try to Edinburgh after a superb tackle by Mark McCrea was bizarre to say the least. Less bizarre was his decision to send off Ryan Caldwell for a piece of ill natured stamping late in the game.
Caldwell's carding and suspension is just another headache for McCall. He'll be busy this week as he needs to sort out the center's and backrow and re-integrate (what must be disenchanted) World Cup returnees and now he has to look at second row combinations. It's another big week in Ulster Rugby. Let's hope it's the first of many.
Hard to pick out MotM and it's indicative of Ulster's start that it's substitutes that are getting the votes. The voting is two for Bart, two for Paul Marshall and one for Justin Harrison. With the editors casting vote the FRU Man of the Match goes to Paul Marshall.
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Ireland - The Pantomime!
In a shocking development Ireland Rugby's under fire coach has announced that he will be producing a Musical Pantomime of Ireland's exploits in RWC 2007.
Mr O' Stunted has stated that he will be both produce and direct the stage show as well as play the lead part of Edita O' Stunted.
It is thought that Little Edd has written some special parts for his favourite Irish players though the only one we can confirm is that the gorgeous pouting Ronan O' Choker will recreate his seminal part from Copperhead Jacks and play a horses ass. However, The FRU can suggest that Little Edd rewrites some classics from Evita:
Another Suitcase, Another Hall. A duet by Paddy Wallace and Stephen Ferris about the only things they see on tour, certainly not a rugby pitch.
Hello and Goodbye. A heartfelt piece by Little Edd on how he slept his way to power.
Oh What A Circus. A cast medley on the RWC campaign.
Goodnight and Thank You! A piece written for the audience to sing at every match for the next four years.
IRFU President Peter Boyle stated,"This is another great money making opportunity for the IRFU that Little Edd has spotted. Sure hasn't he got us out of The World Cup just in time as the sale of our new shirts has peaked due to all the fat bogmen that bought them realizing how ridiculous they looked in the tight fit model. Now when the cash rolls in from the Musical Pantomime we'll be able to pay great players like that nice Argentina boy Filipe Contemponi to come and play for one of our teams instead of having to develop our own."
Fancy sharing a bus with a lot of farty old men for eight hours? No neither do we but we got one of the "Old Farts" to send us in a report on the URSC trip to Edinburgh.
We set sail for Scotland at midday as planned boarding the bus for Murrayfield on the other side. Three hours later we're in the Roseburn Bar where we meet a small pack of Hounds. We meet and greet old friends and a few pints later we tootle on to Murrayfield where we meet Chairman Kimble who'd traveled over by private jet. The Chairman kindly gives Holywood Mike £20 to buy some of the old men some pies and then he gives Mike Reid a case of Magners to put in the back of the jet for the journey home. Mike was pleased!
Once The Chairman had gone we spoke to our old friend Matt Mustchin and then a funny little man spoke to our other old friend Maxi. The Ulster players popped their heads into the bar, but left when they saw that The Chairman wasn't there any more.
Not able to make away matches? Our randy roving reporter Stately Homes checks out some of the alternatives. This weeks competition - how many pints was Stately given by Andrew?
"Situated within easy walking distance of the "Theatre of Pain" that is Ravenhill (that little spot of heaven where we all love to worship), the Rosetta Bar has, in recent years, become an essential venue for those dedicated Ulster Rugby supporters who don't manage to travel away with the White Knights
"With Magners League matches being shown by Setanta, attendances in "The Rosie" have blossomed in the last few years to such an extent that the management now open not only the recently refurbished Lounge Bar but also the upstairs club area, so often, in the past, loved by leather clad Rockers & Goths alike, to facilitate the ever growing band of Red Hand bedecked Ulster aficionados, with numbers often rising to a staggering 300 or so transfixed souls.
"Whereas, before the smoking ban was introduced, the efforts of Humph & the boys were viewed through a haze of smoke, a new outdoor heated beer garden has enabled those that still feel the need for the weed to watch our team on one of the many HD plasma screens in comfort, the sound system & views of the screens both inside & out being second to none
"This family run pub, with Andrew at the helm, have welcomed the Ulster rugby public to their metaphorical bosom & boast, not only of fabulous facilities in relation to their new Lounge Bar & Beer Garden / outdoor smoking area, but also the pub grub is of a stupendous gastronomic standard with many excellent "specials" being available on a regular basis, in particular fresh fish from St George's Market on a Friday which fits in well to our fixtures for this season. All meals are cheap in the extreme &, not that it would sway any of the Ulster Rugby supporters, pints are available at a very reasonable £2.45!
"The management & staff are always well-mannered & pleasant & nothing is ever too much trouble. They've set the standard, now it's up to the team to step up to the plate.
"Yes the Rosie is definitely where it's at on Ulster away days, if you don't manage to make it along to support the boys in person!"
Toddle pip,
Stately!
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Flying the Flag.
There has been a lot of gurning reasoned debate over on the Ulster Rugby message board concerning the flying of flags or not at international matches on the island of Ireland. The FRU, being the most respected all Ireland Rugby body in the United Kingdom, have kept out of this group hissy fit reasoned debate but we have now been dragged into it when we were forwarded this explosive letter. Is everything as it seems?
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Letters to the Editor.
Dear Ed (sorry for thinkin' yer name was "Dewi" all this time),
Having read yer wee piece about thon ladies rugby team coming here, the Grousebeaters feel that it would only be right and proper to offer their services to our steamed visitors. Accordingly, we are happy to offer them dead cheap accommodation in the general vicinity of Ballyclare (well Straid actually). It is a sort of dormitory type of room which should be ideal fer having a bit of crack or whatever, (I've seen "Cops" on tv quite a lot). Please be assured that this won't be any trouble for us and the pigs won't mind movin' in with Ballpark - as long as it's only for a few days.
There are, however, just a couple of things we need to make clear.
Can we pick the team ourselves by looking at the pics on their website?
Can you guarantee that none will be aged 16 or under as Scrumstretcher's Court Order doesn't run out until next May?
Can they bring a wee scrum half as the others are likely to be much too big for me?
Regards,
Gary Grousebeater. Ed - Our exclusive coverage of the Lady Panthers Tour of Ireland will start in November.
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Due to tour commitments and the World Cup, The FRU will not be updated this week until the evening of Monday 8th October.
Check back for:
Newport Report
EXCLUSIVE Tom Court Interview
Lady Panthers Latest News
PLUS
More photos in Ulster's most extensive gallery.
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FANTASY EDDIE
RWC 2007
Congratulations to Jackie Brown on being the winner of the Fantasy Eddie competition. Unless he wants it sooner, Jackie will be presented with his prize by a player at the next FRU Awards Night.
Special mention for Goody. If only she had entered a team for Georgia it could be her getting a special prize from Besty!
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