Leinster,
with their high profile gobs****s O'Driscoll
and Horgan, are rapidly becoming one of my least liked teams
in the Magners League. They arrived in Belfast determined
to get a win and when you see lightweights like Kearney
deliberately stick his knee into his prone opponent's back
at the beginning of the game you just know one of them's
been giving the team talk.
As the first half developed my future life started to pass before me. There was nothing but cold, wet, miserable nights of Ulster being starved of possession by a huge pie eating pack made up of eight Ollie Le Roux's. However as half time came round the 0 - 6 score line did not reflect Leinster's dominance. A few more pints and I was certain that Ulster were going to win - the logic being that they were being so outplayed that the only thing that could happen was Ulster get a breakaway try, convert it and then hold on defiantly for the next 35 minutes for a 7 - 6 win. Easy! If England could get to the World Cup Final then anything was possible.
A try by Leinster early in the first half soon put that theory to bed and I was wondering how long it would be before I said something I regretted to Leinster's mouthy water boy as I stood behind the dugouts.
Bryn gets The FRU MotM.
But then, in our deepest darkness the (metaphorical) sun came out and (more metaphorical) rabbits and lambs gamboled across the pitch as the Sainted David came on to the field of play in the middle of a series of match changing substitutions. The crowd lifted, the team lifted and the Ollie Le Roux's got tired. Ulster made it personal and they tore into Leinster with a vengeance. Sexton and Heaslip disappeared as Ulster got on the front foot and, you know what, the rugby Ulster played was better than anything Leinster had produced. McCrea rattled O'Driscoll twice and Bryn dumped him on his ass and all of a sudden it's 13 - 13.
Penalties are swapped over the last 10 minutes and despite Ulster pressing to the final whistle the match ends a 16 - 16 draw.
The FRU Man of the Match goes to Bryn Cunningham with a brilliant display of defense and attack over 80 minutes.
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The Back of the Stand.
The FRU were pleased to catch up with Paul Steinmetz as we made our way out of the ground on Friday night.
Due to Paul's injury we've been unable to present him with the much coveted Fruettes Top Totty award for last year.
We are pleased to announce that Paul is back in training and he has been able to push himself hard this week.
Great to see Paul Steinmetz back. "It was the thought of my Top Totty award that kept me going through the difficult times", said Paul. "Wait until my wife sees this!"
As the Fruettes had left by this point fellow Antipodean Mark Bartholomeusz was delighted to present Paul with his award.
Reports that Bryn Cunningham was upset at not getting this prestigious award are purely speculation - started by Mark Bartholomeusz!
We were also pleased to get a quick word with assistant coach Neil Kelly who confirmed that the paper speculation about an imminent move to Widnes is just that - speculation. Neil is very much looking forward to what he believes will be a very exciting season with Ulster Rugby.
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If Only (Part Two). From our political correspondent THP.
In the wake of the RWC Final the media has been awash with Fantasy World Teams selected from players who participated in France 2007. Not to be outdone, the FRU has compiled a "Fantasy" Rugby Team selected from the ranks of our local politicians.
Loosehead Prop: Because of the pivotal nature of this position it is important that the incumbent has an intimate knowledge of the game, hence the FRU’s selection of Lord Ken MaGinnis. Ken did play rugby in his youth and is a past President of Dungannon RFC. His background in politics means he is well versed in the Front row art of ‘boring’.
Hooker: If you believe the English hacks, Mark "Ronnie" Regan lifted sledging to new levels in France 2007 therefore the FRU chose a man who can hit the target with his tongue as well as with the ball, namely Sammy Wilson. The only problem with this selection is Sammy’s not so closet naturist predilections, especially when away from the restraining influences of "home soil". The FRU have decided that the temptation to change shirts, and possibly more, at the end of the match might just be too much of a temptation for Sammy, so he will be replaced by Martin McGuiness in the second half.
Tighthead Prop: A good Tighthead gives stability to the scrum therefore the FRU has 'plumped' for someone with a bit of 'ballast', namely Michelle Gildernwew. More importantly, as Minister of Agriculture she will be able to ensure the team has a ready supply of Aberdeen Angus steaks.
Second Row: At approaching 6 foot six, the most obvious candidate for one of the second row berths is the Shinner MLA from Upper Bann, John O’Dowd. His close association with the reserve hooker might be beneficial, especially if line out calls are in the "Chucky Language". Given his background, he is likely to prove useful if the Captain makes a "99’Call".
Second Row: Given the history and pedigree of great second rows and Captains emanating from the North Antrim area, the FRU looked no further that Rev Dr Ian Richard Kyle Paisley MP MLA, to fill both these roles. The ‘Doc’ may be getting on in years but he still has voracious appetite for work and his team talks will make Alec Ferguson sound like a ‘church mouse’ – A Free P mouse of course!!
Openside Flanker: An Openside Flanker has to be someone who is brave and not afraid to dive into difficult situations irrespective of the dangers to their own safety. The FRU’s unanimous nomination for this position is the Social Development Minister, Margaret Ritchie.
Blindside Flanker: This position has traditionally been the preserve of players who are not afraid to indulge the more menacing, darker side of their psyche. After considering the histories of numerous candidates the FRU decided to nominate Sinn Fein’s Gerry Kelly for this exacting role – ostensibly because we were all too afraid to tell him he hadn't made the team!! (The FRU cannot confirm that TOK went through a packet of Imodium and 2 rolls of Andrex when considering this selection).
Number 8: The FRU did not take the D’Hondt principles into account when compiling the team and the selection of a third DUP member, Peter Robinson, is purely on merit. An effective Number 8 controls ball distribution and, as the man in charge of the financial purse strings at Stormont, Peter is the ideal man for the FRU Team. However, Peter can be an unruly tourist and a careful eye needs to be kept on his behaviour when approaching Borders.
Scrum Half: Scrum halves are the fulcrum of any side and need to be wily operators who are not afraid to put 'the foot in' when necessary. In this regard the FRU was faced with a number of outstanding candidates but eventually plumped for the diminutive Jeffrey Donaldson, who certainly has plenty of experience in the judicious use of the boot – a latter day Jacques Fourroux .
Outhalf: The strategist of the team, who if skilful enough, can spot and be through a gap before anyone can lays a hand on him. Again a multitude of names come to mind but the FRU’s accolade goes to Gerry Adams. Gerry has proved himself pretty nifty in "not getting caught" over the years. (Except for his wee sojourn at the site of the proposed new stadium in the early/mid 70’s)
Left Wing: Given the Armani suits, designer specs and high coiffeured hair styles, the FRU was not surprised that there were no genuine contenders for this position.. Therefore, the FRU took a leaf out of the Barbarians’ book and selected an "uncapped" player, namely the veteran socialist firebrand, raconteur and professional "Derry Man" – Eamon McCann. Eamon has been around for long time – indeed it is rumoured that he was quarried from the same stone that was used to build the famous Derry’s Walls.
Inside Centre: To implement the game plan the FRU selected a strong uncompromising Centre who will run straight and be able to keep the ball in the tackle, namely the DUP’s Nigel Dodds. Not too sure if Doddsy played too much rugby when at Portora or whether he preferred the warmer climes of the chess club. His law degree however will be of assistance if Sammy and Peter get into bother.
Outside Centre: Already with a strong direct running centre in the team the FRU felt a more subtle counterfoil was needed and therefore have gone for "Old Twinkle Toes Herself", Iris Robinson, to fill the outside centre berth. It is hoped that Iris can get through "the gap without getting a hand laid on her".
Right Wing: Obviously there is a proliferation of candidates for this position and they don't come more right wing than the FRU’s nominee, the DUP’s country and bird loving, Jim Wells. Jim’s well used to open spaces but we’ll have to be careful that he keeps his mind on the game and doesn’t become enraptured by a Raptor!!
Fullback: The position can feel "lonely and exposed", and the FRU have chosen as their Fullback someone who has experienced these feelings "in spades", namely David Trimble. David knows what it is like to be exposed under "the high ball" and proved to have a "safe pair of hands" on most occasions. Admittedly not a great team player at times but his bravery is beyond question.
Management
Coach: A good coach has to have a sound knowledge of the game and be able to get players with different backgrounds and abilities to form an effective unit focused on the same goal. The FRU’s choice could be none other than the Speaker of the Assembly – Willie Hay.
Bagman and Commercial Manager:Ian Paisley Jnr. was the unanimous choice for this role. (The FRU has been advised it would be purely coincidental if the Team was to be sponsored by Sweeney Developers from Bushmills).
Physiotherapist: Despite extensive lobbying from ex DUP and Independent MLA, Paul Berry, this role is to be filled by Naomi Long from the Alliance Party.
Video Analyst: Again Paul Berry lobbied hard for this position but the DUP’s Gregory Campbell was chosen for great attention to detail "It’s Londonderry and not Derry".
Medical Advisor:Dr Kieran Deeney – Independent MLA for South Tyrone.
Cheerleading: Given her extensive experience of parading with the Rosslea Accordion Band, rousing the Faithful at a rugby match should be no problem for the DUP’s pin up girl, Arlene Foster. The FRU did consider representations from Arlene’s colleague, Willie McCrea but his appeal was deemed to be more limited.
Logistics and Travel Manager: Given his avowed interest in rugby and his extensive experience of various modes of transport the FRU couldn't look past Lord Laird for this crucial position.
Cultural Advisors: Given the disparate backgrounds of the players it is important that respective cultural identities are acknowledged and valued therefore the FRU have approached a partnership that have a proven record of sensitivity in these matters – namely Iluvni and Fokbaik. So keen are they to start their work, they have asked us to publicise a consultative meeting of their innumerable supporters next Monday at their usual location. (Members are advised that the meeting must finish on time as Bob McCartney had booked the same venue for the AGM of the UKUP)
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News from the Colonies!
The
Lady Pantherswill take on Bowling Green
State University on November 10th, 2007 in the Midwest Final
Four in Iowa Falls, IA. The Panthers enter the Midwest Final
Four as the No.1 Seed in the tournament. The other semi-final
will be between Minnesota-Duluth and Grand Valley State
University. The Championship and 3rd/4th match will take
place on November 11th. Not all details (match times, etc)
have been released, but we will post them when they become
available on our match
preview.