With
the departure of Mark McCall are Ulster going
to be left in limbo? Who will take over? The FRU puts forward
some of our Message Board Heroes.
The Original Kimble. Successful life president
of the URSC. Well liked by Reid but has no personality.
Should do well!
Youngman. The "Big Ron" of Ulster.
A flamboyant and exuberant coach but will he have the stamina?
Cockatrice. Had a successful spell at
Ulster with Dewi Barnes. Not a committee man and may be
partial to a brown envelope too many.
Deadball. A blast from the past who appears
to have resurfaced at this critical time. Not liked by anyone.
G.R.M. Lynn and Neilf. Connoisseurs of
the spirited team talk, but the fact that no one understands
them and that it goes on for three days may count them out.
Cables. Mr Statto has a sound knowledge
of the facts and figures but will Cordelia let him out?
Stormin Norman and Dunny. May have come
too early for this dynamic pair as they will not be released
until June 08.
Dergman. Certainly popular with the players
and has some nifty footwork skill to pass on but seemingly
can only perform when drunk.
Mrs Derg. Provided the restraining orders
are lifted by the players could be in with a chance. Known
to want to play Steiny at out half, centre and full back
which are all positions from her new book the Rugby Karma
Sutra.
Boys on Tour Twins and No One Likes Us.
Firm photographers favorites but being Manchester City fans
disbars them from any position requiring sporting knowledge.
Pervy Fan. Firm and sometimes flaccid
favorite of the players wives! May lead to bedroom
dressing room unrest.
London Massif. Know nothing about rugby
but will be nice to everyone in their group.
Bruised Plums. Strict disciplinarian and
connoisseur of the wet towel. A hardened GAA man may be
too tough for our Ulster boys.
LePaul. Bitter opponent of McCall but
still has no idea about rugby! Would he leave his French
hideaway?
Dewi Barnes. Loved by supporters and players
alike. Will the boardroom be big enough for him and Reid?
"Dare i suggest Geoff Grossman
who i believe is the Panthers Coach. He may be foreign
but he is Ulster at heart and has many contacts with Cheerleaders
- and we all know thats whot Ulster rugby needs rite now
- urgently." Ed. My favourite would
be "Eight Try Legend" Brittany Biedenbender
who could show our boys the way to the line!
Gary Grousebeater
"You missed the most obvious choice. None other
than that legend of the messageboards, Rooster.
I expect he is used to dealing with a pack of headless
chickens."
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Ulster 14 Gloucester
32
A
five try blitz
by Gloucester left Ulster's season hanging
by a thread. So where has it all gone wrong? Many message
board fingers are pointing to Head Coach Mark McCall, but
is he the only one to blame?
A typical "message board expert" "tell's
it how it is!" after Ulster's dismal display against
Gloucester!
Up
front we were completely out muscled in the set and in the
loose. The only source of winning clean ball was the line
out and that became patchy enough towards the end. We need
a big bastard of a second row or a prop to tighten up the
front five. Until we do develop a front five enforcer we
need to make the best of what we have got. Harrison may
be an excellent line out specialist but he hasn't got it
round the paddock any more and the rest of his time spent
with Ulster Rugby should be spent passing on his experience
and technique to his teammates. Barker and Caldwell should
be first choice with Del Fava coming from the bench.
In the backs Ulster must continue with
Paddy as starting outhalf. One careless pass against one
sparkling try and several breaks for makes him one of the
few players with plus points after this game. Despite being
constantly targeted Paddy put in an excellent defensive
display and I would not be surprised if he was top of the
tackle count.
The rest of the backs played naively at
times to say the least. Defensive cover was poor and Dewey
in particular made very poor choices. The big Scotsman has
brought very little to the table so far and should make
way for a returning Steinmetz. Failing that, Cave or O'Connor
or even Mallon should be given a few games in the centre
to see if they are going to make the grade or not.
On
the coaching side McCall will probably try to fall on his
sword this week (typical, he had
promised The FRU an interview this week - pah!) but
were does that leave us? Nice bloke that he is, Steve Williams
has a rabbit in headlights look about him and doesn't seem
to be bringing too much to the table. Any local talent is
unproven at this level and available "international"
coaches are more than likely not interested - particularly
if they have any inkling of the piss poor support management
structure behind Ulster Rugby.
To me this is where the problem lies -
the downright complacent arrogance of Ulster Rugby Management
from Reid down. They have sold our identity down the river
in their corporate branding and the bastardizing of one
of the strongest symbols in world rugby. They have removed
the players from their community with their petty controls
and corporate arse licking, further weakening the teams
identity. We'll never have the biggest, fastest, strongest
team but we should have a team that knows what it means
to play for Ulster and that starts at the top. It certainly
doesn't include the unedifying site of a sweating and shirt
sleeved CEO standing outside the SCOOP bar boasting to his
mates the details of the latest contract negotiations with
the players.
Despite challenges, from Fitzy, Trimble,
McCrea and Rory,
The FRU Man of The Match award goes to Paddy
Wallace for his dogged defensive display.
It
will be no surprise to regular readers that I would prefer
McCall to stay, but if he has to go then we can't stop there.
Reid has to go as well and someone has to be brought in
that understands that this is not just a rugby club - to
a lot of people it is the nearest thing they have to a country!
Solomons understood that much and if the IRFU had any sense
they would get rid of Reid and put Solomons in charge to
put the structure in place and to support McCall.
Glaws fans join in with "You're just a suburb of
Bristol!"
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News
from the Colonies
In
a hard fought final, the University of Minnesota-Duluth
defeated the UW-Milwaukee Lady Panthers 38-12 to capture
the Midwest Division II Championship.
The Lady Panthers knew that they would be out-sized by the
Minnesota-Duluth forwards. However, Duluth was able to execute
their game plan and keep the ball with the forwards, and
the Lady Panthers, although showing some moments of brilliance
in forward play, were never able to establish enough turnover
ball to utilize their backline effectively.
With the Panthers' only loss this season (to a collegiate
side) coming in the Midwest Division II Championship Match,
the Lady Panthers can be proud of how far they've come and
how well they played. After the match, while talking to
this exceptional group of athletes, I saw neither dejection
nor defeated spirit, but resolute determination. This loss
hurts. But this is not a group of women to hang their heads
after a defeat. This is a group that will redouble their
efforts to improve.
Match Recap (from the Front Row Union):
9:55amFive minutes to go. It's 16C (60 F) overcast with a
moderate breeze. 10:08amMatch has just kicked off a
little late. 10:20amScore is 7 - 5 to The Panthers
Biedenbender try, Gill
converts. 10:22amDuluth get a second Panthers
are down 7 - 10. 10:29am Panthers are under pressure
they are now down 7 -17. Is this a game too far? 10:35amPanthers continue to defend.
Can they hold on and tire out their bigger opponents? 10:48amHalf Time. The gutsy
Panthers are still hanging in there. Lets see if the Coaches
can inspire them for a second half comeback. 10:59amThe second half has just started
with Martin putting Ney
through for a try. The Panthers are back 12 - 17. 11:08amDuluth get a penalty. Panthers
need two scores at 12 - 20. 11:11amDuluth get another try. Can
the Panthers hold on for a last quarter blitz? Score 12
- 25 11:19amPanthers still holding on as
we move into the final quarter. Have they anything left? 11:26amAnother penalty to Duluth.
12 - 28 and one of the Panthers is carded. 11:28amIt looks like the brave Panther's
run has come to an end as Duluth go over for another try.
The Score is now 12 - 33. 11:36amIt looks as time is going to
run out. Score still 12 -33. 11:38amDespite brave defense from
the Panthers Duluth get another try. Score now 12 - 38. 11:42am Full Time. It's all over with the Panthers
losing 12 - 38. The coaches must be sacked. (Oops thought I was at the
Ulster game there!) Thanks to Suzanne and Maggie for their
help with the live text coverage. Hope everyone enjoyed
it.
En route to the final, Minnesota-Duluth
defeated National #6 Ranked (via erugbynews.com) Grand Valley
State University 17-13 in the Midwest Semifinal. The Lady
Panthers defeated National #3 Ranked (via erugbynews.com)
Bowling Green State University 32-24 in OT in their Semifinal.
The Lady Panthers would like to extend their congratulations
to Minnesota-Duluth on an excellent match and their ensuing
trip to the USA Rugby National Tournament this spring. Minnesota-Duluth
played some excellent rugby and we wish them the best on
luck in their quest for a National Title.
The Lady Panthers will be idle (but in training) until their
Tour of Ireland in January 2008. Their
scheduled matches (tentative dates) are:
January 11 or 13: Armagh Women (Armagh,
N.I.)
January 15: Carrickfergus Women (Belfast, N.I.)
January 17: Ulster Women's Inter-Provincial Squad (Belfast,
N.I) Ed: Keep you eye on The FRU
for match details.
We would like to thank everyone for their
support of the Lady Panthers throughout the season. It has
made a tremendous impact on the players and the program.
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The Isaac Boss Interview.
We
got in touch with Isaac a couple of weeks
ago and once he checked out his inbox he got back to us
with yet another exclusive FRU Interview!! Here goes -
Why Ulster - what influenced your decision to
come here as opposed to one of the other Provences? Well, l it was the right time to leave New Zealand
for me, and there was an opportunity here in Ulster as
Doaky had retired. I had also met Allan Clarke before
and I knew Wardy and had strong ties with him, also with
my ancestry being from Glenarm outside Larne I had emotive
reasons as well. I had a chance to move to Leinster a
couple of seasons earlier but it was not the right time
for me as I wanted to finish my degree and have another
Super 12.
How have you adopted to life in Ulster? Any regrets
since your move? I have adapted well to life in Belfast and am enjoying
it here although I am not a city man. It has a homely
feel to it now and I have no regrets.
How does the Magners League compare to Super
12/14. Certainly the competition is longer and different
in other aspects. Super 12 was a lot quicker but at the
same time there wasn't the contest at ruck time as you
would find here, certainly they commit less to rucks enabling
a higher speed game. Also the weather would be more favourable
than here which is a big factor in moving the ball. I
wouldn't say that makes it better or worse types of rugby,
it is just different.
Hugo - always happy to speak
to the supporters. (Even the old ones!)
How
does the Ulster crowd compare to New Zealand crowds? Waikato, my province at home, had great crowds and I
would say the best atmosphere at games in New Zealand, but
for the numbers at games here they make a lot more noise
and seem to watch more closely what is happening on the
field.
What do you do in your spare time? I like to go to the cinema, go for a drive or generally
get out of the house and do something, if I am stuck inside
I would play X-Box.
We hear that you are a bit of a
ladies man. Have you been successful on that front since
moving to Ulster? Ha ha, maybe a man the ladies would love to hate!!!
I wouldn't say I am a ladies and yes I do have a wee Belfast
girlfriend!
The beard. Why? The dreadlocks.
Why?
Well the hair.. I have always wanted dreads, had them before
but there weren't done properly so lasted a day, guess dreads
is a very New Zealand thing too, at one stage three of my
brothers had them also, at the moment two of my brothers
do, and yes I was the last to get them. As for the beard,
well Ii don't really have a good reason, I just haven't
cut it. I am not somebody who cares too much for the hair
I guess, if you remember before I came to Ulster I hadn't
cut my hair or beard for 14 months, I only cut them then
because I was leaving to come here, so did it for my mum
before I left.
How do you feel that Paul Steinmetz
won the Fruettes Award for Top Totty 2006 - 2007? Yes now he is a real ladies man!!!!!! Ha ha!!
On Ireland's World
Cup.
Where did it all go wrong? Well we lost two games that is what went wrong, can't
be any more simple than that.
How did the provincial players
get on with each other? Well I roomed with Paddy, bloody tough work I tell ya,
but don't tell him I said that!!!! I don't know how his
wife Tina handles it? Ha ha!!
Were the team under orders not
to speak to or mix with the supporters? No, not at all.
Who would be your ideal International
Manager. Arthur Guinness!
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Are
Ulster Gaining Support?
Are
Ulster gaining support despite their poor
performances?
Thanks to The FRU we have
opened up a whole new level of support in North America
through those gorgeous rugby dynamos The Panthers.
We've been sending The Panthers a personality
profile assessment to determine if they are a "Fruette"
or a "Players Wife". To date 25 have
replied.
As well as being asked whether they prefer
Guinness or Harp, Daniel O'Donnell or Snow Patrol, Kimble
or Barnes the girls were also asked to state if they prefer
Mark McCall or Mike Reid
and with 17 votes McCall is well ahead of our jocular CEO!
Beleaguered Coach Mark McCall
gets a 68% approval rating from The Panthers.
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Letters
to the Editor. Edited by our new Czech
trainee Franz Kafkant.
Dear
Ed
First I was insulted, but then I realised
that Mike had primed you to keep my name out of the running.
Rest assured, I will keep you informed of how the negotiations
on my contract pan out.
Grumps.
Dear
Sir
I have been instructed by my client Mr Cockatrice
to demand the immediate removal of a photo you have displayed
on your website of him working at his PC. If this doesn’t
happen with immediate effect you will consider yourself
on notice as to the ‘pain and suffering’
you are causing to my client by displaying a very personal
low point caught on camerra.
Yours truly,
Cetezen Vice-Boro.
Dear
Ed
I don't need to tell you that my previous
email WASN'T for publication ........ a bit like this one!!!!!
DO I????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You get my drift?
Grumps.
Dear
Ed
I would be grateful if you could through your pages extend
my thanks and best wishes to the outgoing Ulster Coach.
Despite the bad fortunes of late, he has been a true Ulster
man, both on the field and off it, and never gave less than
100%. The memories of our league triumph in 2006 will stay
in my memory forever.
We'll never forget you, Mike McCall,
All Weather Ulster Fan (The Original)
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Caption Competition.
Cap'n
Grumpy won last weeks caption competition
with this effort (right).
The lucky Cap'n wins : -
A night out with The
Panthers in January for the winner!
What a waste!
PS. The FRU have
not been slow in having a go at Munster & Leinster in
the past but well played to both of tham at the weekend.
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Congrats to Frosty and Kimble
for getting them all correct. (Even though it meant betting
against Ulster!)
Week 10. Heineken Cup
Weekend Friday 16th November 2007.
Glasgow v Viadana
Gloucester v Ospreys
Bourgoin v Ulster
Dragons v London Irish
Treviso v Perpignan
Leicester v Edinburgh
Harlequins v Cardiff
Biarritz v Saracens
Llanelli v Wasps
Munster v Clermont Auvergne
Bristol v Stade Francais
Toulouse v Leinster
Three groups of four.
Bonus point for each group you get all correct.
Predictions to be in by 6:00pm Friday 16th November 2007.
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