"Williams'
Wonders" wobbled to a win
in a highly entertaining match at Ravenhill on Friday night.
Ulster looked out of the game
in the first half with some abysmal defending gifting
Bourgoin three tries and despite two Humphreys penalties
the 6 - 17 score line looked like it was going to be too
much to claw back.
Cheered on by The Panthers Ulster came
out with all guns blazing in the second half. Within four
minutes Bowe was across the line after a Humph break and
the crowd finally came alive. A fourth try by Borgoin
put a bit of a damper on it but Ulster kept pushing forward
at every opportunity and as the Ulster tight five started
to dominate Bourgoin resorted to illegal tactics. Thankfully
the referee wasn't afraid to show the yellow card and
in the last 25 minutes three Bourgoin players visited
the bin for various offences.
Ulster took full advantage of their extra
man with Marshall going over to bring the score to Ulster
20 - Bourgoin 24 and they kept Bourgoin pinned in their
own half for the final fifteen minutes. Eventually the
pressure told and Trimble capped off a fine individual
display with a try in the dying minutes. Ulster win 25
- 24.
The FRU Man of the Match
goes to Andrew Trimble as he was the
only player that made one of the Panthers burst into tears
of joy when they met him! Bless!
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Second
Barrier Crew Recruitment Drive.
The
Second Barrier Crew would like to hear
from suitably qualified persons who wish to join the
2BC. We would like to hear from like minded individuals
who wish to take part in a number of 2BC activities.
Previous experience is not essential as full training
will be given. If you think that you match all or one
of the following criteria we would like to hear from
you:-
1. Are your trousers 4"
too short?
2. Are your glasses held together with a
plaster?
3. Are you at least four stone overweight?
4. Are you on the Sex Offenders register
?
5. Are you a serial bed wetter ?
6. Do you have at least two years left on
your current ASBO ?
7. Have you ever attempted to burn down
your old school ?
8. Are your dinner dishes made from polystyrene
?
9. Do you want to see bed sheets covered
in witticisms instead of/and/or "stains"?
10. Do you smell of beef flavoured deodorant ?
The successful applicants must be socially
inept loners and have difficulty relating to real people.
They must have a proven track record of getting very excited
when an opposition player/referee makes a mistake. Ideally
we are looking for thick spectacled individuals with chronic
acne who can stand hunched up at the second barrier with
saliva specks at the corner of their mouths who are prepared
to jump when Ulster score a try.
Some experience of "joshing"
with banalities on internet message boards and then bursting
into tears when someone disagrees with you would be an
advantage. Full training in not washing will be given.
If interested please send a long rambling pedantic cv
to TOK, c/o Mike Reid's Orifice, Ravenhill, Belfast.
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Letters to the Editor.
Dear
Ed,
Re: Applications to join the 2bc.
Why didn't you just SAY you wanted to
join?
Grumps PS. You got the first
criterion wrong. It should have read, "Are your
legs 4" too short?" (and with THAT correction,
YOU have the fool set!)
____________________
Dear
Fatso,
I was appalled at the tone of your recruitment
drive for the Second Barrier Crew. It is entirely disingenuous
of you to suggest that we are in the slightest bit interested
in hearing from applicants who have failed to burn down
their old school!
Yours, etc
tok Ed. Much as I would like to claim
credit for the piece, I'm afraid I have to tell you that
it was sent in by one of your many admirers! Grumpy, I'll
fix the Prediction League scores this weekend now stop
hounding me!
____________________
Dear
Editor,
I would like to take this opportunity
to thank all those fans who expressed concern for me during
my recent illness. I would especially like to acknowledge
the unbridled optimism of Big John who collected for my
wreath in the Beer Tent. He claims he never doubted my
ability to pull through.
I would also like him to know that in
the matter of refunds, Billy wants his 20p back as he,
Mervyn, and Gawker, would like to pool their financial
muscle to buy me a celebratory pint, though I may never
get it as the doctors have only given me at least another
twenty years to live.
Kind regards,
Hotspur Ed. Didn't even know you were ill
- but then I've been hunting Panthers for the last while!
____________________
Dear
whatsyerbake,
After watching the Panthers put on a
very good performance against Cooke / Ulster on Sunday,
I downloaded one of the videos from the Panthers websites.
I've been able to identify a few strengths
and weaknesses and I'm wondering if there's a future career
in Video Analysist for me with the Panthers.
Cheers,
Colzo. PS: 2 of the lovely ladies
have accepted my friends request on Facebook - they're
gonna be tortured with comments! Ed. Hmm Colzo, video and 40 girls aged 18 - 21
just doesn't seem right somehow!
____________________
'Ere,
Stoopid
Re: 2bc membership, you got #2 wrong.
If their glasses are held together with plaster, one
of them will spill while they're drinking out of the other.
Any time I've seen them, their glasses have been held
together with cardboard carriers, but only until they
got them up to the terrace.
Yours (but not often),
Don Chaunderstan.
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
News
from the Colonies
The
FRU havebeen covering
the hugely successful Panther's tour on our Blog pages
here
and here.
Please feel free to leave a comment on the Blog.
There'll be more pictures
going up over the next week but you can view more pictures
of their night at The Rosetta, Ravers and The Bot in our
Gallery.
The coaches and the players
would like to thank everyone who has made them feel very
welcome in what has been called "The
most awesome tour ever!"
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Did
You Know?
Wales'
historic win against the All Blacks on
19 December 1953 at Cardiff Arms Park may have been achieved
with a little advice from a match official.
The game could not be poised more delicately
at 8-8 with 5 minutes to go, when Welsh flanker Clem Thomas
gathered the ball near the touchline. The touch judge
Ifor Jones - himself a Welshman- later claimed that he
told Thomas to use a cross-kick as winger Ken Jones was
unmarked.
Whether or not the official did say this,
the fact remains that Clem Thomas did boot the ball ahead,
it took a favourable bounce, and winger Ken Jones sped
in for the winning try.
From THE TRIVIA LOVERS' GUIDE
TO RUGBY
Week 19. Heineken Cup
Weekend 18th January 2008
Glasgow v Saracens
Biarritz v Viadana
Dragons v Perpignan
Treviso v London Irish
Leicester v Leinster
Toulouse v Edinburgh
Llanelli v Clermont Auvergne
Munster v Wasps
Gloucester v Ulster
Bourgoin v Ospreys
Bristol v Cardiff
Harlequins v Stade Francais
Predictions to be in by 6:00pm Friday 18th
January 2008.
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