Amuch better display
by Ulster and they can count themselves unlucky not to
have come away with a win. Unfortunately a weak referee
intimidated by the baying (and
surprisingly rugby illiterate)"Shed Heads"
and Wallace's right peg all conspired to turn the game
the way of a limited and nervous Gloucester.
Perhaps the biggest complement, however, can be gleaned
from the fact that the fawning "Little Englander"
and apologist for the Guinness Premiership, Will Greenwood,
eventually realised that Gloucester were in real danger
of getting beat. Infact, towards the end of his 80 minute
gushing eulogy to Ingerland he even realised that had
Paddy slotted over three reasonably straightforward
kicks that Ulster would have won.
So inept were the commentary team that they failed
to spot two blatant forward passes in one of the Gloucester
tries, Vainikolo being carried over his own line and
Delve being offside at every ruck in the first half.
Then again an Ulster win would have spoiled Sky's quarter
final schedules.
On individual basis nearly all the Ulster players had
their game of the season with the unfortunate exceptions
of Paddy and young Fitzpatrick, both of whom let Gloucester
off the hook with, in the case of Wallace, extraordinary
misses and, in the case of young Declan, a few dropped
scrums. Declan put it behind him and improved within
the game and is now a better player because of it but
not so Paddy - can his ego cope with another re-build?
Honourable mentions to Mark Bartholomeusz,
Mark McCrea, Rory
and Neil Best, but the FRU
Man of the Match panel is unanimous, for the
first time this season, with the selection of Tommy
Bowe!
Tommy hasn't looked
back since swapping tips with "The Bied"!
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Available in figure hugging
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The
FRU can exclusively reveal that Wilson
and McMillan have infact signed for Milwaukee Lady Panthers
and not Northampton and "Undisclosed"
as stated in other lesser media outlets.
"We've
been holding discussions with Neil as long ago as last
April at the Cardiff game. We were aware he was unsettled
after we received an anonymous email from a Mr Ryan Constable
and we decided we'd get Neil to play for one of our subsidiary
teams", stated a delighted Mr Barnes CEO of
the FRU.
"We like to go and watch our
boys play, when we can, so we decided it would be more
fun to send him to Milwaukee rather than some boring old
Guinness Premiership side plus we thought he may learn
a few new tricks from the talented Ciala Ney who's currently
holding down the seven spot for the Panthers."
"We realise that Neil will have
to learn new terms like offence, defense, tackle, pass
and sports bra but we're sure he will cope admirably with
the transition!"
"Wilson
was harder to catch", continued Barnes. "He
has, after all, won The FRU Player of the Season
award twice in a row and we were worried that he might
move elsewhere with the prize watch we gave him. After
all we need that watch back for this season's winner."
"However as Roger had spent
most of this season playing behind a pack of girls we
thought we could persuade him that his future lay in Milwaukee,
but with other teams interested we knew we had to do something
special."
"This deal was really on the
line until the Panthers visit last week. However when
we told Roger that the Panthers had all poked him on Facebook
and that Mollie was going to be his roomie until he got
settled we found things moved pretty quickly in the end."
Good
luck to Roger and Neil as they move forward to new challenges.
I'm sure we'll see them back in Ulster shirts again.
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Your Personalised
Horrorscopes ByMystic
Keg
After
a few months in "The
Clinic" Mystic has returned!
Aries(March21-April19) Mr.van
Helsing
Give yourself a pat on the back because your remarkable
ability to commit serial identity fraud enabled you
to enjoy 147 free Xmas dinners through the offices of
Age Concern,Help the Aged, etc.
Taurus(April20-May20) Gary
You could be propositioned by gay Welsh referee Nigel
Owens who will probably say "Crouch, touch,
pause,.....let's get engaged"
Gemini(May21-June21) Holywood
Mike
Bad news I'm afraid! Scientists are predicting that
cheerleaders will become extinct within the next ten
years, just like the Dodo, those other dumb birds!
Cancer(June22-July22) Kerry
Fisher
Try to remember that sex without love is a very empty
experience, though as empty experiences go it is a pretty
good empty experience !
Leo(July 23-August22) The
Original Kimble
You have no objections to people looking at their watches
when you start talking, it's when they start to shake
them to see if they're still going!
Virgo(Aug23-Sept22) Cap'n
Grumpy
Be careful what you say and how you say it on those
banners. Remember that old saying 'Banners maketh
the man!'
Libra(Sept23-Oct23)The General
The good news is that you are are about to achieve instant
fame through an appearance on national television. The
bad news is that it's on the Jeremy Kyle Show and it
involves DNA results!
Scorpio(Oct24-Nov21) Freddy
Benson
Friends who accuse you of dating 'The ugliest woman
in the World', are forced to withdraw those remarks
when the following week they see you out with her sister!
Sagittarius(Nov22-Dec21) Ballpark
Try to take a bit longer to get into the office because
a civil servant's brain is a wonderful thing. It starts
as soon as they get up in the morning and stops as soon
as they get into the office!
Capricorn (Dec22-Jan19)Rooster
You will be a huge disappointment to a Portadown woman
who overheard you claiming that you had 'the biggest
cock in Armagh' without realising, too late, that
you were speaking as a chicken farmer!
Aquarius(Jan20-Feb18) Ultimate
Ulster Chick
Give in to your feminine side. A woman who strives to
be like a man lacks ambition!
Pisces(Feb19-Mar20) Dewi Barnes
Soon you will be offered a three month round the World
trip but you will turn it down on the grounds that there
are "other places you want to see first ".
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
News
from the Colonies
The
Panthers have arrived home safely from their hugely successful
tour of Ireland.
The girls had a great time
and though they lost three out of the four games the
standard of rugby was very high. The girls look to return
again soon.
~
~ ~
~ ~ ~
Did
You Know?
When
New Zealand and Australia played each
other in Dublin in the semi-final of the 1991 World Cup,
it was the 93rd meeting between the two countries' rugby
teams, but the first time that they had met at a neutral
venue.
From THE TRIVIA LOVERS' GUIDE
TO RUGBY
Congratulations to Stormin
Norman with a full house this week!!!!
Week 20. Six Nations
Weekend 1st February 2008
England v Wales
Ireland v Italy
Scotland v France
Predictions to be in by 6:00pm Friday 1st
February 2008.
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