Monday 20th March
(Later) Feeling like death warmed up (is it tarmac poisoning?), but decide to try to sweat it out. I have the excuse to use the flat circuit around town again. It’s cold but dry and not too much wind, the first half mile feels lousy, but as I start to sweat, my legs feel easier and so does breathing. The gloves make a satisfactory and necessary hankie. I actually extend the circuit and go round twice with a total distance of circa 3 miles (I don’t know exactly as I haven’t measured it). The surprising thing is that it only took about 30 seconds more than the 2.4 miles over most of the same route last week (albeit with strong winds). I go home and luxuriate in a hot bath and feel MUCH better after.

Tuesday 21st March
That was last night, this is this morning and the virus is winning again. The test results have come back though and I don’t have bird flu (H5N1), but a more obscure virus (1N5H) never before seen in the Northern Hemisphere. I understand there have been some cases cited among emu farmers elsewhere.
(Later) Head out for some more Kentucky Fried heron. Even thinking of going back for seconds. I decide on my original route and hum away to myself “O Fortuna, velut luna……” My temperature rises and I hum even more, before realising the wind direction’s from the council “brown bin” site. I complete the first lap in record time and decide I will go for seconds. A few hundred yards into it, I decide that seconds ain’t that appetising. Legs are aching, which they haven’t really done before, and my throat and ears are getting distinctly uncomfortable again. I look around and there’s no one looking, so I do a discrete about-turn and come home to the bosom of my family. “Keep your germs to yerself” I’m lovingly greeted with, followed by other comments. Memo to self – Buy a dog to blame for the smell!

Wednesday 22nd March
It’s official, I’m not the man I used to be! At the weigh-in this morning, I’m ONE STONE LIGHTER than I was exactly four weeks ago! If I keep this up, all I’ll need for the Marathon is a helium balloon and a favourable wind.

Friday 24th March
Day before the Dragons match – Captain’s Run – I pronounce myself fit, (well sort of) – I leave it late in the day but go out for a longer run than usual. I envy kimble his training partner, as I’m starting to get lonely. Does this mean that I’m now a long distance runner? It must do, because I complete 5 MILES! Five miles in my book IS a long distance. Of course, not wishing to incur the ridicule of my loving family, I don’t tell them I’m going to attempt 5 miles, lest I fall short. “Just let their hearts swell with pride if and when I tell them of my success”, I think to myself. After about 4 miles, my solitude is broken by the mobile phone in my pocket ringing. “Bless them”, I think to myself, “It is late, and I’ve been gone longer than usual and they’re worried about me”. I answer the phone, (to Grumps Junior) “No, I haven’t forgotten to get your pizza & chips! Yes, I will be there as quickly as possible. No it won’t be cold by the time I get home!” ………………… “Yes I’m fine and I love you too”, I add AFTER hanging up!
Five Miles? … Five Miles! That means I only need to find another 0.9 miles in 5 weeks for my part of the course. For the first time I think it’s possible. Did I mention that I ran 5 miles tonight?

Monday 27th March
The start of what looks like being a VERY busy week. I’ll have to fit in whatever running I can when I can. After Friday, it would be good to follow it up with a repeat. Can’t remember if I mentioned that I ran 5 miles on Friday? Unfortunately I don’t have time to repeat such heroics, and set out to repeat last Monday’s 3 miles (ish), which is just as well, because my legs feel like lead. Plod, plod plod. Splash, splash splash. It’s raining, its, pouring, the running game is boring! If you want me to try to make it interesting, forget it. – Go and write your own diary, instead of reading mine. See how easy it is to make up new gibberish about the same old routes time after time after time after ……
Forget the three miles, I eke the time out a little and squeeze in about four. I’m not sure of the distance, exactly, but I do three laps of a 1.2 course (for the Lardy Boyz who can’t do hard sums, that’s 3.6 miles), but don’t have time for a fourth lap, so I do a circuit of the nearest block of houses which probably brings it up to near 4 miles. – every little helps.

Sunday 2nd April

I haven’t been running for nearly a week now and it seems like it. Apart from being ultra busy with other things, by head cold …. flu, which I thought I’d recovered from, has developed into a bacterial sinus infection. I used to be prone to this, but had surgery a few years ago as it had actually caused blindness on a couple of occasions (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!). I’ve been relatively free of it since then, but it’s nasty when it returns. What it means is that I’m producing enough nasal gunge to make the Torrey Canyon/Amoco Cadiz/Exxon Valdez/Prestige* seem like a spill of baby oil – and mine is biologically active gunge! (Too much detail????)

I decide on an early morning jaunt around the Kentucky Fried Heron route. The first 2.49995 miles are pure purgatory, but the last 0.00005 was comparatively easy. The most galling thing was as I toiled up Heron Ridge, I happened to look up and almost as if mocking me, two of the large grey birds glided effortlessly overhead. I couldn’t even conjure up an image in my head of them turning on the spit over glowing charcoal. On the downward slope I expunge the last remnants from the nasal passages and spend the rest of the day waiting to hear on the news that emergency services in NBC suits are in attendance at Stratheden. It never comes, but there is a weird green glow in the sky that evening.

* Delete according to age bracket of the reader

Monday 3rd April

It’s dry, it’s still (almost) and it’s late, but I need to run or it will be almost like starting over again. I also need to avoid those hilly bits that drag the legs out of me. I head for the flatter route down town and run JUST OVER SIX MILES! I never set out to go so far, but it seemed natural to keep going when I wasn’t suffering. Six miles – I think that’s what they call a “fun run”. It wasn’t fun, but then neither was it the purgatory I suffered yesterday. What a difference a day makes. At least I know I have the distance in me again (my leg of the relay is 5.9 miles). I now have four weeks to get comfortable with the distance and to gloat at my fellow athletes, none of whom have (to the best of my knowledge) built up to race distance yet. A few weeks ago tok was running 4.5 when I couldn’t manage more than three. I hope he feels as inadequate now as I did then – HA! Will I now be added to those under attack on Hamburger Hill?