Issue 13

19 March 2006

   
Ourland 28    Homeland 24  

Ireland stumbled their way to another Triple Crown beating England 28 - 24 at good old Twickers. In a game of marginally higher standards than previous outings the luck of the Irish saw them home.

The win was somewhat spoiled by the only Ulster representative being withdrawn in favour of Dempsey. It was unfortunate that about 3 minutes later Dempsey got possession in open play and struggled with one man to beat. Something Trimble had been doing with ease all year.

The lack of Ulstermen getting an outing this campaign has lead to all sort of angst over on the message boards with the old anti-Ulster conspiracy doing the rounds and boarders stating their allegiance for Ulster above Ireland.

Well the FRU can tell you that there is nothing wrong with either of these conspiracy theories as our pictures prove.

The typical Ulsterman has always been different than the rest of the Island Of Ireland. He has always been much more sophisticated and cultured (particularly round North Down and East Antrim areas) compared to the bogmen from the west and the south.

The Ulster Knights (or Knights of the Red Hand - pictured) ruled Ireland from their seats of power and left the fighting to our thicker browed friends from the bogs, a pastime which they enjoyed and excelled at.

These traits can still be seen today, decades later, in the make up of the Irish Team. No one can argue about the Neanderthal heritage of O'Connor and Stringer while on the bench King David and his Ulster Knights quietly contemplate their return to power!

So don't get upset, "Our Day Will Come" to coin a phrase.

 

 

 

Caption Competition.

The caption competition was an unqualified success with more entries than an average URSC Online Poll. The winning entry is shown below.

 

Winning entry from "Name Withheld".

Pick up your prize from the beer tent on Friday Night.

See other entry's here!

 

 

 

FRU Discover Other Bugging Scandal.
From our "New" Spy in the Camp - Deepthroat.

The FRU can report that an undercover journalist after having spent several months disguised as a member of the URSC's inner sanctum is able to confirm that the Stanleygate affair was not the first incident of bugging to rock UR. In fact our reporter can confirm that months before the Head of the URSC suspected that its meetings at Ravenhill were being bugged by UR in an effort to see what was being planned over the Christmas campaign.

The photo (right) shows the Head of the URSC showing our undercover reporter what was discovered after a sweep before one of its meetings at Ravenhill back in October. The URSC had suspected UR of knowing what it was doing for sometime and this discovery prompted the URSC to move and meet at a new secret location. Our reporter was told 'that we had been looking for something much smaller and didn't realise the scale of what was staring us in the face. Indeed we had wondered for some months why the picture sat so far off the wall and now we know'

Indeed so secret has the URSC had to become that its members now have to operate in small cells so that it is impossible for anyone to discover the identity of the full membership. The most active of these units has been the Belfast unit operating from a well known city center night club however it is believed that meetings may have spread as far as Armagh.

 

 

 

 

Ritualistic Cult Exposed at UAFC.
From our Newer Correspondent - Deeply Hurt!

Shock news has reached the FRU this week of a ritualistic cult called the After 5 Club.

It has been claimed by an insider that a group calling themselves the After 5 Club are actually nothing more than a front for all sorts of secret sadistic mayhem. One of the club has come clean on the UR website we can not name this individual for legal reasons but we can offer a direct link to this individuals comments.

It appears that this cult have now developed a shocking and flagrant approach to supporting Ulster. While we all love good hard play on the field most would find this type of conduct totally unacceptable. It would seem that this small group are not satisfied with corrupting themselves and are actively looking for new members and in particular ‘virgin blood’.

Rumour's have it that Gary has now rejoined the group.

If anybody is approached by any of these dangerous individuals please bear in mind the type of dangerous tactics that may be adopted in trying to convince you to join.

The shocking expose comes while there is a growing evidence of an attempted ‘coup’ at the UAFC as someone called the ‘The Fonz’ has joined the message board as a moderator. It would now seem that the management of this Club and MB have decided to expand their involvement in Ulster Rugby. They have started by offering a trip to Glasgow in direct competition with Ulster Rugby. Critics have commented that it seems the club are trying to take advantage of a gap in the market created by the lack of organisation by the now disgraced URSC. The good news for the Ulster supporters is that a price war has now begun and Gary has been first to drop his price. We can now reveal, however, that all may not be what it seems.

      
UAFC Vomit Express Parked Up in Glasgow.                                   The Official Stenna Bus!

   
 
     
   
       
   

Links





 

FRIENDS OF FRU

Back Issues
Issue 1 (4 Dec S05)
Issue 2 (12 Dec 05)
Issue 3 (19 Dec 05)
Issue 4 (31 Dec 05)
Issue 5 (8 Jan 06)
Issue 6 (16 Jan 06)
Issue 7 (27 Jan 06)
Issue 8 (5 Feb 06)
Issue 9 (14 Feb 06)
Issue 10 (21 Feb 06)
Issue 11 (26 Feb 06)
Issue 12 (10 March 06)
Issue 13 (19 March 06)
Issue 14 (24 March 06)
Issue 15 (2 April 06)
Issue 16 (9 April 06)
Issue 17 (19 April 06)
Issue 18 (2 May 06)
Issue 19 (8 May 06)
Issue 20 (15 May 06)
Issue 21 (22 May 06)
Issue 22 (28 May 06)

   

© 2005 FRU Publications.
Recommended by pwrmoore and Rooster!