Mutual Self Congratulations All Round

Monday 1 May 2006.

The FRU are pleased to announce that five smug gits managed to run the Belfast Marathon in 4 hours 28 minutes despite being held back over the first two legs by a wannabe reporter Richard Mulligan.

The Original Kimble was particularly upset after failing to break his personal best of 1 hour 30 minutes for his six mile stretch. A distraught Kimble stated after the event.

"I was well on schedule for 12 minute miles but that Richard Mulligan chap recognised me as one of SCOOP's leading journalists and he kept pulling me back and asking me to help him get on the journalist ladder. Thank goodness we had Dewi and the Cap'n to make up time at the end."

Luckily enough Wee Kimble put in a burst of pace which managed to shake off the clinging Mulligan. His 6.5 miles in 41 minutes (yes it's true) caught team mate Dewi unawares and somewhat spoilt Dewi's pre-run routine.

"I'd just been phoned by Kimble that he had just handed over to Wee Kimble so I thought that I had time for a pie as it would take him at least an hour and a half. No sooner had I got the pie warmed up than who should appear but Wee Kimble telling me it was my turn to run. I'll never know what happened to that pie. It wasn't there when I went back three hours later - that sort of spoiled my day."

Having been put back into the lead by Wee Kimble and Dewi the Cap'n was able to trot/walk the last leg to finish in 1162th place

           
Wee Kimble (Our hero!)                        The Cap'n goes Forth Fifth                The Cap'n and Dewi at the Finish

A picture paints a thousand words! Holywood, Mulligan and Sparks after a few miles!

Letters to the Editor

Dear Sir,

I cannot object too strongly about both the tone and content of Dewi’s training diary. Tactless is too mild a word to describe the insult that this is to all those dedicated athletes who gave up much of their time to train for this event and to raise money for local charity.

It clearly seeks to rubbish those who turned up and actually took part. I know of one young man who, inspired by the dedication so clearly demonstrated in the training diaries of the Cap’n and Kimble, went out there and ran for Ulster. I am extremely disappointed to say that he won’t be running next year as a result of this latest spineless snipe at those who put sacrifice before pleasure.

Believe you me; I know what it means to run for one’s life! Shame on you!

Yours etc,

The Gingerbread Man

Dear Sir,

I wish to complain about the recent letter of complaint in respect of the Marathon Diaries. It is clear to anybody who follows the informed debates on the UAFC MB that this letter is little more than a cheap shot at those who strive to uphold the standards of honest and unbiased reporting. Indeed if the attempt at plagiarism were not so crude I could have made an educated guess as to who wrote it. But then I am not given to speculation or innuendo, unlike most of the tossers on this rag!

Yours faithfully,

Young Balltrice

Sir,

I don't wish to complain about the original complaint, but I am complaining about the complaint about the complaint. (I think)

A blind man in a dark night on a galloping horse could see it was thongeu and checkmate!

Yours,

Bart A. Meus

Sir,

I too would like to complain about the "Training Diaries".

I am extremely disappointed with the report on the S14 Night, though presented as a personal view it is unbalanced to say the least and the person that wrote it has presented an article that has a distinct slant against anyone who was prepared to attend and enter into debate over this fine competeion, something that normally happens at these sort of nights.

The opening comment is a disgrace, "For those of you who were unable to attend this year's S14 Night, or actually decided against going, you have no idea what a lucky escape you had." The subsequent tone and content seeks to rubbish those members who turned up and actually took an interest in how the S14 is being run

Yours,

Disgusted of Cherryvalley!

Dear Editor

I too would like to offer my support with the complaint about the S14 night and although the report was presented as a personal view it was indeed unbalanced and slanted towards one opinion.

The opening comment was indeed a dig at those unable to attend and the tone and content does indeed set out to rubbish any member unable to attend what was otherwise a fine evening.

Yours faithfully

Disgruntled of BT20 4R US

Dear Editor

I too would like to complain about the nature of the reporting from the S14 evening, which clearly set out to offend in an unbalanced and slanted manner. Despite being a personal view of one person I would question whether they were even there at the event.

The opening comment was nothing more than a swipe at those unable to attend and the tone and content did indeed set out to rubbish any member unable to attend what was otherwise a fine evening.

Yours faithfully

Dissatisfied of BT23 8P8

Ulster Have Game Shock.

The Ulster Rugby Entertainments Manager made the shock announcement that Ulster Rugby were going to open Ravenhill to actually play a game of Rugby this Friday night.

So after nearly three weeks without a home game let's hear what some of the message board regulars have to say!

groovychloe
Joined: 25 Mar 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Lisburn
Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:25 pm
I cant wait till next fri. Its been so long since the last home game. I am having withdrawal symptoms..lol. Also bringing 1 of my friends to her first game so hopefully it will be a good match although I suppose it can only be really good if Ulster win

craftynick
Ulster Guru
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 978
Location: derry
Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 12:03 pm
happy days
good to see Ulster Rugby actually putting on some entertainment for us - though i ahve to admit im scared of balloons so think ill skip them - good the beer tents opening early
_________________
ULSTER FOR THE CELTIC LEAGUE
AND MUNSTER FOR THE HEINY

Dead Ball
Ulster Guru
Joined: 18 Mar 2005
Posts: 1714
Location: The Pub
Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 1:07 pm

Dear Sirs/Madam

I write for clarification as to why it has been repeated not only by our new Chairman, that I and others will be granted access to the minutes book but also it is inferred in our recent URSC Newsletter, when no such thing has been the case.

I was told by way of an email that the then Sec. would come back and inform me when I could be granted access to the minutes book as clarification was being sought as to how long I had been a member ( the inference being of course I was lying about my membership).

That was on the 28th of Feb. 2006 (as you can see from the email below).

I await your response.

Regards

***********
A copy of my email to the committee today. I post here for it seems the only way to put pressure on the committee to give a response as they otherwise would ignore any correspondence they recieve from members.

Artists impression of what Ravenhill could look like on Friday.

Some of the entertainment promised by Ulster Rugby.